


Working Relationship

by scatteringmyashes



Series: Modern Vox Machina [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Relationships, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Vax'ildan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:05:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9240563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatteringmyashes/pseuds/scatteringmyashes
Summary: Vax'ildan doesn't have a lot going for him. He's about to start college with his sister and he's an anxious mess about it, especially since he doesn't have a job yet. At least the guy who works at the bookstore seems to like him.Alternatively: the many times Vax sees Gilmore and how working at the bookstore was the best decision Vax made since letting Vex keep the stray dog.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic in the series! This chapter is before the other stories and can be read without prior knowledge of the universe. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here.](http://scatteringmyashes.tumblr.com/)

The first time Vax’ildan saw Shaun Gilmore, the man was flirting with a tall student that Vax recognized from the archery classes Vex’ahlia taught at the local range. Jarett, an exchange student to the university from somewhere in the Middle East -- Vax didn’t remember where, if Vex had even mentioned it in the first place -- was leaning against the shop counter and laughing. Anyone with functional eyes could tell that the two were having fun, that whatever Jarrett said was funny enough for Gilmore to start laughing, his brown eyes sparkling in the store’s fluorescent light. Vax had never seen a man with so much jewelry, not outside of television at least, and he was instantly drawn to the small rings that lined Gilmore’s ears. They shifted and swung as his head moved, mesmerizing in their own special way.

Vex’ahlia elbowed him in the side and told him to grab what he needed and to meet her at checkout. He rolled his eyes, grabbed a basket, and ducked down the aisle to look for crappy microwaveable ramen, pushing thoughts of the attractive stranger out of his head.

The second time he saw Gilmore, the man was playing on his phone behind the counter, Jarett long gone. Vex’ahlia grinned at him and placed her purchases next to Vax’s before shooting Gilmore a wink. 

“So,” she said with charm she only used when trying to get a deal, “how much of a discount does your favorite customer get again?” The loud, booming laugh Gilmore let out caught Vax off guard. It was the kind of sound that came from the chest, nothing held back, every card and emotion on the table. There were several gold chains around Gilmore’s neck, each bouncing as his body shook with amusement. Vax vaguely thought that any other person would seem gaudy with so much jewelry on their body, but Gilmore managed to pull it off.

“Oh, Vex’ahlia, you know you will always hold a special place in my heart, but alas I do not have that privilege.” He turned to focus on Vax and the look on his face shifted. Vax wasn’t sure if it was confusion, surprise, or something more. Something… different. “Well _hello,_ ” the man said, extending a hand. “I’m Gilmore. You must be Vex’ahlia’s brother. I must say, Vex’ahlia, you’ve been holding out on me!” Gilmore chuckled as Vax shook his hand. There was a bead in Gilmore’s beard, woven in there like a secret for the right person to see. Gilmore noticed Vax looking and grinned, though he didn’t say anything. 

“I’m Vax’ildan. I didn’t realize you knew my sister,” Vax replied, hoping he didn’t sound as flustered as he felt. Gilmore’s grip was strong, confident, though his hands were smooth. Vax was instantly aware of how rough his own hands were, callouses hard and formed tough from his days playing with daggers and a childhood climbing trees and balconies. 

“Gilmore’s always here when we go shopping,” Vex said. “At least, he’s here when I’m here. If you left the apartment more often then you would have met him by now.” Vax rolled his eyes and tucked his hand back in his jacket pocket. It burned. “Now, come on, Gilmore, you know how expensive it is to be a college student. Help a girl out.” 

“Oh, did you finally sign up for classes?” Gilmore asked. It was a fair question; though Vax and Vex had lived in the area for a while, they had both avoided going to college while they got their lives together again in America. For Vex, that meant finding a job and getting a dog along the way. For Vax, that meant doing his best to stay out of trouble and figure out the proper balance between getting out of bed and making sure he got enough sleep.

It was a difficult process not helped at all by the utter lack of motivation Vax felt, but he was getting better at managing his schedule. Well ok, his sister had reached the point where she started dragging him outside to go shopping with her. Yesterday it had been the pet store for more food for Trinket, their half-bear dog. Today it was the college-run all-purpose store, which had everything from textbooks to energy drinks to various T-shirts and jackets for students to show off their school pride. 

Despite the fact that Vax and Vex weren’t actually students, they still shopped there regularly considering how close it was. Well, they _hadn’t been_ students. Now they were, with classes picked out and school supplies bought and everything. 

They hadn’t been in a classroom since they left their father with just enough money to get a bad apartment in a bad part of town. It was anxiety inducing just thinking about what going back to school meant, but they needed to if they wanted to continue with their lives. Vax refused to allow a few bad years to define his life. Ok, it was more like _many_ bad years and they were _definitely_ controlling him in many ways, but he was going to get an education if it killed him.

Hopefully it wouldn’t. 

“Yup,” Vex’ahlia replied when Vax didn’t, popping the p like one might pop bubblegum. “Going to start in the fall. So come on, help two of your favorites out.” 

“Well I don’t know…” Gilmore trailed off before winking at Vax, catching him off guard. He turned bright red and Gilmore chuckled. “For you two I suppose I can make an exception.” The man quickly rang up their order and gave them a ten percent discount. Vex’ahlia paid since she had was in charge of things like money in their household but, of course, Vax was the one who got to carry all the bags. 

They said goodbye to Gilmore and begun the walk back to their apartment, a mere ten minutes away. “He’s never given me a discount before. I should have been bringing you with me this whole time,” Vex’ahlia said with a pout. Vax rolled his eyes and told her that there must be some kind of a student discount that she hadn’t qualified for before. “You didn’t see him, Vax. He definitely has eyes for you.”

“You just think that because he saved you money.” Vax pointed out. His sister rolled her eyes and shoved him, the two of them falling into playful banter that continued all the way back to their apartment. 

Vax definitely didn’t spend a few hours not paying attention to the television, playing with Trinket’s fur and wondering if someone as attractive as Gilmore could possibly have been interested in someone like Vax’ildan. If his sister noticed, she mercifully didn’t say anything. 

The third time Vax saw Gilmore, it was a week later and he was pissed. His attempts to get a job thus far were went with resounding declinations from everywhere he tried, even the grocery store that hired teenagers to bag things. Vax wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he had never held a job before, his stupid unchanged gender marker, the fact that he barely had a high school education, or some combination of the three, but it was still frustrating. 

So that was why Vax found himself marching into the little store at two am, looking for something to spend his pocket money on. Gilmore was there, further telling Vax that the universe hated him. While Gilmore looked as wonderful as he had the first and second time Vax saw him, that night Vax was wearing his most beat-up leather jacket and his hair was pulled back in a sloppy bun.

Not, in short, the kind of thing that made a good impression. _He probably doesn’t even remember you,_ Vax thought as he slunk through the aisles. Of course, that was the moment his shoulder hit a rack of chips, sending it clattering to the ground. Gilmore turned and looked over from his place behind the counter, seeing a bright red Vax trying to pick up all the fallen bags. 

“Oh, hello there. You’re Vax’ildan, right? Vex’ahlia’s brother?” Hearing his name in that deep, drawn-out voice was enough to make Vax’s face heat up and he did his best to cover it with a cough. Gilmore came over, shooing Vax aside. “I’m getting paid to do this, darling.” He had it done quickly, anyway, or at least it seemed like that. Vax was a bit mesmerized by the rings on Gilmore’s fingers. 

“Yeah, that’s me,” Vax replied, grabbing a packet of rice cakes and a bottle of coke and setting it on the front counter. He leaned against it, trying to look cooler than he felt. “You’re Gilmore, right?” He asked, as if Gilmore wasn’t wearing a nametag. 

Gilmore offered him a smile as he rung Vax up. “I don’t suppose you’d like to talk about whatever is bothering you, Vax’ildan?” 

“Vax is fine,” came the immediate reply. Vax shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, most people who are buying rice cakes and coke at two in the morning aren’t having a very good day. If you want to talk to someone, well, I’ve been told that I am a very sympathetic ear.” It was an earnest offer, as far as Vax could tell, but he shook his head. Gilmore didn’t seem offended, just nodded. “I understand. Do come in more often, it’s always a pleasure to see your face.” 

“It’s the same as Vex’s,” Vax deadpanned. Gilmore chuckled, putting his elbows on the counter and resting his head in his hands. He had long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail; instead of a regular hair tie there seemed to be a gold ring of sorts keeping it together. Vax wondered, idly, if he was wearing real gold. The thought was banished quickly. If he could afford that kind of jewelry, what was he doing working in a college convenience store? 

“No, your face is much more angular. Sharp.” Gilmore made a show of examining Vax’s face. While usually that would have unsettled Vax, he felt strangely calm about the endeavor. His physical appearance hadn’t caused him too much distress in recent years. “She’s a beautiful young woman, yes, but you…”

“Are not?” Vax offered. 

“No, you really aren’t,” Gilmore replied. There was a moment of silence as the two of them looked at each other. Vax was the one who broke eye contact, grabbing his purchases with vigor. He turned to walk out of the store, opening up the rice cakes as Gilmore called out, “You know, we’re hiring.” 

Vax stopped and glanced back. “What?” 

“Just. If you’re interested.” Gilmore waved a vague hand around the store. “I’m not the only one who works here, you know. You just never come in during normal hours.” He chuckled. “But if you’re looking for a job this is an easy place to work at. And students have preference in the hiring process.” 

“Why would I want to work here?” It came out harsher than Vax wanted and he frowned. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Gilmore laughed and shook his head.

“No, no, that’s all right. I just thought I’d mention it. If there’s a chance for an attractive co-worker to spend long hours by…” He trailed off with a wink. Vax blushed and fidgeted with one of the cakes, flipping it through his fingers.

“There’s no rule against dating fellow employees?” He asked.

“Well,” Gilmore replied, stroking his beard, “It’s not encouraged but since when has following the rules been fun?” 

There was another stretch of silence as neither of them spoke. Vax knew it was a good idea, that Vex would encourage him to at least as for an application. It wasn’t like anything else was going to hire him. But there was also something very intimidating about working at the store with Gilmore. No, not working at the store. Just being in the same building as Gilmore for eight hours. It seemed like… a lot. But not necessarily in a bad way.

Vax walked back over and held out the package of rice cakes. “Do you want one?” He asked. Gilmore smiled and took one, crunching it behind perfect white teeth. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

Vax’ildan left the store with a paper application stuffed in one pocket and a rapidly beating heart in his chest. When he got home, Vex’ahlia leapt up from the couch, Trinket by her side. 

“Where have you been?” She asked, her hair in a messy braid. She was wearing her pajamas, the ones with little dogs with bows on them, and if it weren’t for the almost panicked look in her eyes Vax would have told her to just go to sleep. As it was, he knew he owed her an explanation. 

“I was feeling anxious so I went to get something to eat,” he explained, holding up what was left of his coke. The rice cakes were gone; they were crappy in just about every regard but they were cheap and didn’t make Vax want to throw up the way most food did when he was anxious. “Saw Gilmore,” he added as he started walking to his room, feeling like he had done enough talking for the next twenty four hours. 

“Really?” Vex followed him, not dissuaded by her brother’s antics. “How is he? Did he give you a discount?” 

“I don’t know.” Knowing that it was pointless to tell her off, Vax didn’t even try to stop his sister from coming into his broom closet of a room. He kicked his shoes off into the corner and Trinket immediately went to go sniff them. “He offered me a job.” 

_“Really?” > _

Vax made a face. “Not like that. Like. He said I should apply.” 

“Well, do you think you will?” At his sister’s words, Vax pulled out the folded application that he had stuffed into his pockets. Vex rushed forward and gave him a tight hug. Trinket, not to be left out, came over and nuzzled his two favorite humans in their thighs. “This is great, Vax! I know you’ll get this one.” 

“That’s what you said about the other three places,” Vax pointed out. His sister waved a hand, sitting next to him nudging him in the shoulder.

“Yes, but Gilmore works here.” She waggled her eyebrows at her brother. Vax stuck his tongue out at her, something he had been doing for the last nineteen years. “Ew, gross, brother. Are we seriously five again?” The drew a chuckle out of him. “But really,” Vex continued, slinging an arm over his shoulder, “I’m proud of you for applying to all of these places. And we’re going to start school in a few months!”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Vax replied, though there was a smile on his face. “Now get out of my room. It’s three in the fucking morning, I want to sleep.” 

“All right.” Vex kissed her brother on the cheek. “Good night, stabby. Come on, Trinket. Let’s leave your uncle alone so he can get his beauty sleep.” 

“Good night, stubby.” Vax didn’t sleep very well, but the next day he filled out the application and walked over to the store. Gilmore wasn’t there, but a nice woman named Sherri was and she took the paper with a small smile and a promise that someone would call later. Vax was only a little disappointed that Gilmore wasn’t there and he told himself that it was because he would have liked to see a friendly face, that’s all. He spoke to so few people besides Vex’ahlia, after all.

The fourth time Vax saw Gilmore, it was as Vax walked into the store ready for his interview. He was wearing his nicest button down and the pair of jeans he had owned for the least amount of time, but one glance at Gilmore made Vax feel vastly underdressed. 

“Going to a party tonight?” Gilmore leaned against the counter with his hip, arms crossed as he grinned at Vax. He was wearing studs in his ears instead of his usual hoops and they sparkled in the sunlight that came in through the big glass doors. 

“No. I, uh, am here for an interview actually.” There was a short moment of surprise on Gilmore’s face that Vax caught, but it was gone before he could say anything about it. “You work here a lot,” Vax said instead, trying desperately to make conversation. He told himself it was because he wanted a distraction from the impending discussion about his abilities or lack thereof, but really he just enjoyed talking to Gilmore. 

That, at least, was easy to admit to himself. 

Gilmore shrugged and helped check out a young woman with bright pink hair and more ear piercings than even he had on. “I enjoy having spending money,” Gilmore replied. “But also it’s always fun to see some of my favorite customers.” He licked his lips and looked like he was about to ask something else when an older woman came out and called Vax’s name. Despite the fact that his name had been legally changed for a year, he still couldn’t help but feel a rush of relief. “Good luck,” Gilmore said. 

“Thanks.” Vax found that he did feel better knowing that Gilmore was in his corner. 

The interview itself was simple, nothing more stressful or difficult than being interrogated by his father about one thing or another. Even though Vax didn’t have any prior experience, he explained his time in China and the woman seemed rather impressed by the fact that he was going to school after taking a rather unusual gap year. But it was far better than any of the other interviews that he had gone to, even though Vax couldn’t help but feel like he was being judged on his appearance. 

_Is my hair messy?_ He wondered, reaching up to smooth the top of his head. One of the many difficulties with having long hair included the fact that it was constantly coming out of its ponytail and generally making Vax’s life difficult, but he wouldn’t cut it for the world. But no, it seemed like everything was as in place as it got. Vex liked to make fun of him for growing it so long and refusing to braid it, even though he constantly braided her hair, but they both knew that Vax also had worn braids for a few years of his life and hated them. 

Besides, the long hair made him look enough like a girl. He didn’t need to look anymore like his sister, as wonderful as she was.

“I think we’d like to offer you a position, Vax,” the interviewer said with a smile. “But I have to ask. What pronouns would you like us to use? Your paperwork says--”

“Yeah, I know,” Vax quickly cut her off, hoping it wasn’t too rude. “I’m, uh, not able to get it changed right now. But he/him are the pronouns I use, thanks.” He offered her a smile of his own. “Thank you, this means a lot to me.” The interviewer nodded and stood, offering him a hand to shake. 

“I’ll send you an email with your training schedule. Everything will start before classes and if you can’t make something, just let us know and we’ll work to accommodate you. Is there anything else you’d like to know?” She asked. Vax couldn’t help but think about long black hair, dark brown skin, and beautiful golden jewellery against all of that. 

“Uh, do we get to request our own schedules?” 

The next time Vax saw Gilmore, they were working together for the next eight hours. Vax dropped three boxes, got caught staring twice, and almost ran into a display of keychains once when he saw Gilmore laugh at a joke someone made. It was the best eight hours of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice this is the last chapter. I decided that I wanted to end this on a hopeful, but not necessarily _finished_ note because I'll definitely end up writing more about them in other fics -- until then, enjoy this!

“So, Vax’ildan, what does a young, attractive man like yourself do on the weekends?” Gilmore asked one day when nothing else was happening in the store. The two of them had been coworkers for several months now and Vax would even call Gilmore his friend. They hadn’t ever interacted beyond work, but Gilmore still tried to engage Vax in conversation and seemed to actually care about how he was doing, which was more than everyone in Vax’s classes. 

“Right now? Study. Homework. Normal work.” Vax motioned around the empty store. The floors were cleaned, inventory counted, isles organized, and they still had another three hours to go before the night shift came in. After the first initial rush of people trying to get their textbooks for, quite frankly, ridiculous prices, the bookstore went back to its usual state of being. Sometimes people came in to buy snacks or new notebooks, but for the most part the only people who shopped there were locals who needed something or teachers who got a nice discount on everything. 

It definitely was easy and had the added benefit of giving Vax and his sister an employee discount whenever they shopped there. Well, technically only he should get it, but Vex had charmed her way into everyone else’s approval so she got it too. The fact that they were almost identical twins probably confused most of the other employees too, though Gilmore seemed to have no issue telling them apart. 

That was oddly flattering in a way that his flirting didn’t quite encompass. 

Gilmore nodded as if thinking for a moment. “Would you and Vex’ahlia like to come to a party? One of my good friends is hosting it and I think you’d enjoy it.” Vax couldn’t remember the last time someone had invited him to a party and he just stared at Gilmore, expecting to be laughed at any second. “If, ah, you already have plans I understand, but I just thought I’d extend the invitation.” 

“You’re serious?” Vax confirmed. Gilmore nodded again.

“Of course. We’ve been working together for a while now and I enjoy your company. Your sister is also so charming and I think she knows the host. Jarett Howarth?” It took Vax a moment to place the name but he did recognize it. Vex’ahlia taught archery classes at the local range to help make money and that was one of her coworkers. She liked to talk about his good form when shooting and Vax, on more than one occasion, had teased her about having a bit of a crush. 

“Yeah, Vex knows him.” Vax shrugged. “I’ll ask her. When is it exactly?” Gilmore gave him the information right as a teacher walked in with her two children; she came to the store every week to buy them little treats and chat with Gilmore. Vax took the opportunity to duck into the back and check his phone, though it wasn’t like anyone ever texted him. 

He hesitated, scrolling through his bare Facebook feed as he wondered if he should tell Vex about the party. In all honesty, he had no interest to go. Spending time with lots of people that he didn’t know always made his anxiety spike and, for all the encouragement he got from his sister and therapist to break away from his social circle of two, Vax wasn’t willing to go through that. Besides, the only thing worse than an anxiety or panic attack would be one in front of Gilmore. 

Vax was still waiting for the moment Gilmore realized that he wasn’t really all that interesting and stopped flirting with him. It was bound to happen eventually. 

But he knew he should at least give Vex the chance to broaden her horizons or whatever Therapist Mercer had said. So Vax sent his sister a text with everything Gilmore had told him before going back out to make sure that nothing was blowing up or burning down. Gilmore was still talking to the teacher and Vax lurked behind him, watching the man chat and grin and laugh as easy as breathing air. The children seemed to know him and were telling him about their day which involving far more candy and naps than Vax remembered his early school years including. 

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Gilmore asked as the two of them walking out of the bookstore, bags in hands. The sun had set and the streetlamps were providing the only light. There was something vaguely romantic, almost, about this. “Jarett is known for having great parties. You should see what he can do with some spice.” Vax wasn’t sure if spice was a drug or was to reference actual spice, but he just shrugged. 

“I dunno. I told my sister. She wants to go.” Vax started to step forward but Gilmore reached out to grab him, pulling him back. “What?” Vax asked, startled. 

“I really would like to see you sometime outside of work. Can I get your number? We can get coffee sometime?” Gilmore sounded hopeful and genuine and it threw Vax for a loop. He ended up nodding numbly and handed over his phone. It was a cheap, second-hand iPhone that his sister had gotten for a fantastic price after flirting with the girl on Facebook for a few hours. Vax had never felt _embarrassed_ to have it before, but now he couldn’t help but watch Gilmore’s expression for any signs that he thought less of Vax for it.

Vax didn’t see anything but Gilmore’s glorious smile as the dark-skinned man looked back at him. “Here. Text me later.” He handed the phone back to Vax, who took it with weak fingers. Once it was safely in his pocket, Vax turned back to Gilmore and nodded.

“Yeah, sure.” Somehow, the smile seemed to grow on Gilmore’s face and he clapped his hands together.

“That’s _marvelous._ I look forward to it, Vax’ildan.” With that, he walked off down the street opposite of where they were heading, back towards the bookstore. Vax realized, with a strange swooping sensation in his stomach, that Gilmore had driven to work and was heading back to the parking lot. Which was at the other end of the block, nowhere near the subway entrance. 

He brought it up to the only person he could talk to about these kinds of things. Vex’ahlia gave him a strange look as they sat across from each other, each eating pasta while various bits of schoolwork were scattered around. She had a book about biology propped open and was taking notes with one hand, the other dedicated to scratching Trinket behind the ears as he unashamedly begged for scraps. Vax, on the other hand, was trying to make progress on a book about the Mexican Revolution but for as much as he loved history, tonight was not his night to be productive.

“It’s not that hard to understand,” Vex told him, “Gilmore likes you. He asked you out to coffee, that’s practically a pre-date in college.” She turned a page and took a bite out of her pasta. “Have you texted him yet?” 

“No.” 

Vex gave her brother a much more familiar look, one that meant he was a mess and really needed to get his act together. “Why not?” 

Vax shrugged. “I haven’t gotten around to it,” he lied. The truth was, he had spent the entire subway ride trying to think of what to say to Gilmore. Then he had spent the entire walk from the station to his apartment wondering what would happen if they did get coffee. Something told Vax that Gilmore was the kind of person who liked expensive, upscale coffee joints that Vax couldn’t afford unless he wanted to eat a little bit less or saved up. And what would they even talk about? Gilmore seemed to be an endless supply of conversation topics but Vax could count on one hand the amount of topics he had offered up. No, it was too likely that Gilmore would realize the truth about Vax and decide that he had better people to pursue. 

That was true, of course, but that didn’t mean Vax was eager for that to happen. 

Sensing that pressuring him would provide no new answers, Vex shook her head and rolled her eyes, looking down at Trinket. “Your Uncle is an idiot.” She leaned back in her seat a little and glanced back at her brother. “Are you going to Jarett’s party?” 

“No.” 

“God, why do I even try?” Vex sighed and finished off her food. “You need to get out sooner or later, brother.” 

“I do get out! I go to classes, I work, I walk Trinket--” Vax was cut off by the expression Vex had on her face. It was threatening but also what she had when she was on the verge of screaming and tears. That hadn’t happened for years, but it was always a possibility. Vax was pretty sure the last time Vex _had_ fallen into that state, it had been at her father for one thing or another. 

“You know what I mean,” she told him. Vax shrugged and stabbed at a particularly offensive clump of spaghetti. He didn’t meet his sister’s eyes. 

“Yeah, well, it isn’t that easy to find people to relate to.” There was a moment of silence as Vex tried to understand what he was saying. 

Vex’s face fell and she sighed. “I’m sorry, brother. People haven’t been…?” 

“No, they’re not misgendering me, it’s just… Tiring. I keep thinking they’re going to find out and hate me.” Vax shrugged. “I’ll probably talk to Mercer about it. See if he has anything else he can put me on.” He was mostly joking; they didn’t have money for any extra prescriptions, not with college proving to be more and more expensive than anything else they had tried, even with a generous amount of financial aid that meant they had to pay for almost nothing. Vex seemed to get that, but she still made a face.

“You know, the point of a therapist isn’t to just medicate you to happiness,” she pointed out.

“It’s not,” Vax agreed, “but that’s far easier than trying to actually work through my problems.” He stood, picking up his empty plate. Trinket immediately beelined it to him, pushing his way under the table even though he was almost as tall as it. “Aw, hi there buddy,” Vax cooed, leaning down and presenting the plate to the dog. “I ate all of it, but you can lick the plate.”

“Do not let Trinket lick your plate,” Vex complained. Vax did it anyway. 

He didn’t text Gilmore and he didn’t go to Jarett’s party, but he lied and said it was because he was sick all weekend. Gilmore seemed to accept it and just told Vax that he should drink some kind of special tea. Apparently it was the cure to the common cold, or that was what Gilmore believed at any rate. 

“I’ll bring it for you next time I work and leave it in your cubby,” he said. “I’m sorry you were sick. I was looking forward to your text.” Gilmore immediately had to go help a customer find something she needed and Vax was left to sulk behind the counter. 

“You look like you swallowed a bug,” Sherri said as she came over. The three of them were working that day thanks to a mix-up in the schedule. Their boss, thankfully, realized they were all hungry college students who needed all the hours they could and didn’t send any of them home. “Did Gilmore do something to offend you again?”

“He hasn’t offended me,” Vax immediately replied. Sherri raised an eyebrow. “He hasn’t,” Vax insisted. 

“Uh-huh. Make sure he knows that.” With that, Sherri walked off to do something important, or so Vax assumed. It was just as likely that she was giving Vax time to figure out what she meant by that and to think long and hard about his life choices.

Vax didn’t want to, but when the three of them were done with their shift, he made sure to wait for Gilmore instead of heading immediately to the subway like he usually did. “See you around, Sherri,” he called out to the woman. She nodded and waved as she walked to the parking lot. Vax didn’t have as many shifts with her as Gilmore, who seemed to work every day but also was never tired or less than one hundred and ten percent enthusiastic over thing, but Vax still thought she was a good person. Calm and level-headed, a nice shift from Gilmore. 

Speaking of which, the man himself didn’t take long to come out of the store. He seemed a bit surprised to see Vax there but his usual grin covered that up quickly enough. “Vax’ildan! What are you doing out here? Surely you aren’t waiting for me; what if you miss your train?” 

“There’s others,” Vax replied vaguely. He also didn’t have any classes that day, seeing as it was Friday, so that helped. “I, uh, wanted to talk to you. Can I walk you to your car?” 

Gilmore’s smile grew. “Certainly. What’s on your mind?” 

Vax, as per usual, struggled to find the words. He opened his mouth and closed it several times as they walked. Gilmore, patient and sensing that this was something Vax needed to say by himself, remained quiet. It was possibly the longest Vax had been in his presence without him speaking and it was strange but also welcome. There was something comforting about knowing that Gilmore didn’t have to talk, he just did. 

Eventually they reached Gilmore’s car. It was on the second floor of the parking lot and so they had to climb up a flight of stairs since the elevator was broken, but Vax didn’t mind the climb. He wasn’t surprised at all to see that the car in question was a light purple bug, the color not unlike some of the shirts that Gilmore seemed to love so much. Having no real dress code at work was useful when getting to know what one’s coworkers liked to wear. 

“Here we are,” Gilmore said, breaking the silence. “If you want, you can tell me another time?” He offered, turning it into a question with a slight raise of his eyebrows. Vax appreciated the suggestion but shook his head. If he didn’t do this now, he felt like he never would.

“You’re a really good person, Gilmore. And I would love to get coffee with you sometime, but I… I’m a mess. I have anxiety and depression and some days I just want to curl up in my bed and not do anything.” As he spoke, the words grew faster and faster, a torrent of emotions spilling out of him. “You’re bright and cheerful and fantastic. You have friends and go to parties. My only friends are you and my sister. I have nothing to offer you and you’ll find that out and wish you never offered. So. Just. Don’t.” 

There was silence. Vax couldn’t bring himself to meet Gilmore’s gaze, certain that it was filled with pity and maybe a bit of sympathy. And while that would be far better than hatred or disgust, there was the chance that Gilmore felt that way too but was just too polite to say anything. Even a small likelihood was too much for Vax and he didn’t want to risk it. No, much better that he keep his head down and at least delude himself into thinking that Gilmore didn’t think he was pathetic. 

“Vax,” Gilmore said, voice soft even in the echoing parking lot, “Vax, please look at me?” Hesitantly, Vax did so. He didn’t realize he was trembling until he tensed to try to stop it. 

There was no hate in Gilmore’s eyes and no pity. There was sympathy, yes, but there was also something that Vax hadn’t seen in so long that he almost missed it. In Gilmore’s eyes there was unabashed affection. Vax wasn’t sure what to say or how to react so he only felt relief as Gilmore began to speak. 

“It’s ok if you have anxiety and depression and anything else. I want to know you. This isn’t about what you have to offer or how many friends you have.” A soft chuckle escaped Gilmore as he shook his head. “No, I want to be your friend because you’re Vax.”

“I don’t understand,” Vax interrupted. Gilmore gave him an almost sad smile. It did funny things to Vax’s stomach. 

“You’re scared that what? I might find something out about you that is bad enough that I don’t want to be your friend anymore?” _I’m scared that you’ll hate me if you knew just how much of a mess I am,_ Vax wanted to say. Instead he just nodded. “I cannot promise anything, but I really doubt there’s anything that you could do to make me hate you.” Gilmore stroked his beard, thinking. “If you’re worried about me finding out a deep, dark secret, know that I will never ask you to push yourself more than you want. That’s not how friendship works. We’ve known each other for a few months now--”

“And you don’t even know my last name.” Vax knew it was probably rude to interrupt, but how could he get his point across? “I still call you Gilmore--”

“Everyone calls me Gilmore.” Another chuckle escaped the man. “But if you want, you can call me Shaun. It’s a little less, well, glorious, but it’ll do.” Vax swallowed and found that he didn’t have words to reply. “I don’t need to know your last name to be friends with you. Though, now you have me curious. What is your last name?”

“... Hadriel.” Vax could see the look of surprise that crossed Gilmore’s face and sighed. “My mother was American and so am I. But I don’t want to talk about that.” He adjusted his grip on his bag and kicked at the ground. His boots were getting old and he’d have to talk about Vex to see when they’d have enough money for him to afford another pair. “I would like to get coffee sometime. Maybe you should text me?” 

Gilmore nodded and smiled. “I would like that very much, Vax’ildan Hadriel.” He reached forward and Vax recoiled, realizing belatedly that Gilmore had just tried to hug him. “Ah, not the touchy-feely type? That’s all right.” Gilmore seemed a bit embarrassed but not about to push it. He unlocked his car and opened the door, starting to sit when Vax grabbed his shoulder.

“Wait.” Vax quickly hugged Gilmore before stepping back. It lasted for maybe less than a second but it was still the longest Vax had hugged anyone who wasn’t his sister or Trinket in years. “Text me.” He watched as Gilmore broke into a smile and nodded. Vax didn’t leave until Gilmore had driven off, leaving him standing there in the parking lot. 

Vax had a smile on his face all the way home.


End file.
